Harry Potter Book 7 out!
Blogging it as it happens!
6.00 am: Woke up, bleary eyed and disgruntled at the alarm on the mobile phone. Consciousness kicked in a couple seconds later, euphoria approximately 13 femtoseconds subsequent to that: Harry Potter Book 7 being released today!
6.13 am: Encountered minor mishap in bathroom, whilst pondering for the n-th time whether JK will kill off Harry Potter. Oh you evil Rowling, go to the corner and face the wall!!
6.19 am: Read note from brother that MPH has decided to NOT sell Harry Potter in protest of Tesco starting a price war. Let out a cry of grief, which echoed around the apartment complexes scaring a crow and rousing a a homeless guy from his sleep. Made a mental note that the brother is coming in useful after all; perhaps I should feed him today.
6.30 am: Scratched left ball, then the right, and came to a conclusion that optimism never killed anybody - decided to try anyway: maybe the MPH guys came to their senses. Left apartment on time. Apparently Dutch efficiency is getting to me. Booyah!
6.46 am: Reached MidValley, saw long line outside CarreFour. Walked up to MPH, was 20th in line, between a snogging couple and a Star Wars geek. Boy of the snogging couple made insinuation that Harry should be sucking something long and hard. Girl of the snogging couple wasn’t amused. Star Wars geek doesn’t shut up about how long he waited in the line for the Star Wars movie. The temptation to shaft Harry’s long and hard thing up the Star Wars kid’s ass grew very strong.
6.59 am: MPH opens. Cheer goes up among the crowd. Then nothing happens.
7.01 am: MPH staff start letting us in. Another cheer goes up! w00t! I’ve not felt so much excitement since I got laid for the first time.
(2 minutes later)
Walking through the door, MPH staff give me a handi-bag. Loot includes the book “David Beckham: My Side”, a colorful “Encouraging Creativity in Children!” DVD, a SIM card backup device (nifty!), a Geronimo Stilton doll, and most importantly: “Survival Card III” featuring:
- a can opener
- knife edge
- can cover remover
- cap opener
- 3 position wrench
- butterfly screw wrench
- magnifier
- precision screwdriver
- compass
- rule
- light
Apparently, we are about to read Harry Potter whilst lost in the jungle. And if there is no hope for rescue, suicide is apparently made easy thanks to the complimentary Beckham book.
7.05 am: Halelujah! All praise be to FSM! The book lies in my hands! And a wicked Slytherin mug too!
7.07 am: Lost MidValley ticket. Retraced route, recovered ticket. Navigated maze like conditions of MidValley carpark. A Four-Point spell later, foocar was out.
7.40 am: Safely reached apartment. Illegally crossed 3 red lights and exceeded Mach 1. Scared the bejesusses out of befundled kapcai driver.
7.43 am: The journey starts …
10.13 am: At chapter nine. Five have died; revelations have been shocking, to say the least.
1.35 pm: Close to 400 pages later, I’m at chapter 24. Thrilling, the story is. I’ve lost tracked of the number dead.
~5.01 pm: Finished the book, and with it the entire Harry Potter saga.
A more detailed review will be up soon; a short summary is that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is a literary masterpiece and a fitting end to the saga. I liked it, although I’m sad that this is an end to a brilliant fantasy fiction series.
Cheers!